Lonely Heart
by KVicious
Summary: Seiya Kou reflects on his feelings for another senshi.


Small note: My good friend Missa wrote the song I am using in this songfic. When she first showed me the lyrics, I instantly thought of Seiya.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
If I could, I'd be with you.  
But my heart, it won't let me through.  
I'm holdin' on, yeah baby, holdin' on.  
  
Seiya Kou stood out on the balcony of the apartment he shared with his brothers Taiki and Yaten just staring at the moon. Its white luminous splendor totally captivating him, luring him into its magnificence much like it's glorious princess did. She held the same warm alluring radiance in her heart that attracted him to her so much.  
  
Usagi...uttering that one simple name was all it took to get his heart pounding faster. But he knew he couldn't have her. Her heart already belonged to that damned Mamoru. That insensitive bastard that left her all alone to go selfishly study abroad in America. It astonished him how she still stuck by him, so devoted. But, yet, that was one of the many things about Usagi that he admired her for. She had a strong heart and always stood by her friends, no matter what the cost.  
  
Someday, I'll be able to tell you,  
About my feelings, about this love, baby.  
About this love coursing through my veins  
  
Oh how much he longed to hold her in his arms...caress her...kiss her...tell her that he loved her and that he'd always be near her to protect her. He wanted so desperately to be able to run his fingers through her long silky blonde pigtails. But it could only happen in his dreams. Oh how they tormented him! In them he was able to hold her close to his heart and to do everything imaginable with her that he had always wanted to do in real life. Romantic scenarios between him and Usagi in his dreams would haunt him by daylight, making each day harder and harder to live through. Each time he would steal glances at her in classes, a faint blush would creep across his cheeks as recollections of the previous nights dream about her. Guiltily invading his conscience.  
  
But right now, I've got to wait  
Maybe just one more day.  
Baby, you know I do,  
Hell if it's forbidden,   
I love you  
  
Every time they would pass each other in the Crossroad High School halls, he pretended that he did not notice her, burying his face into one of his textbooks, acting as if he were tremendously engrossed in whatever it said. And his heart would flutter if one of her pigtails happened to brush against him, as she would walk by, chatting away a million words a second cheerfully with one of her friends. She was a popular girl and had many acquaintances. He could see why too. She was incredibly caring and generous. Constantly lending a hand to anyone and everyone who needed her. She was completely selfless. Always giving, never ever taking. In no way expecting anything in return for her kindness.   
  
It's hard to explain,   
that all the pleasure will be worth this pain,  
You say my name, baby, and I feel myself start shakin'  
I feel these feelings starting to awaken,   
It may be wrong, but I need your touch just too much  
I'm holdin' on  
  
Sure, he knew he could have any other girl in the school that he wanted. The other girls practically threw themselves at his feet asking him out on dates and left a hefty quantity of silly love letters in his locker every day. Being a part of a famous music group did have its many advantages but he would pay no heed to the attention from the other girls and throw the many fan letters and love notes he received away as soon as he returned home everyday. He didn't care about any of the other females. The only woman he ever wanted was Usagi, his beloved untouchable angel. The one he yearned so much to spend the rest of his life with. The girl who seemed to never know he existed.  
  
But right now, I've got to wait  
Maybe just one more day.  
Baby, you know I do,  
Hell if it's forbidden,   
I love you  
  
The words to the song "Shooting Star" suddenly came to mind. Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten used it to try to find Princess Kakyu, ruler of the planet Kinmoku where they came from, but guiltily Seiya knew that in actuality he was really, deep in his heart, singing it to Usagi. He began to sing the song softly to himself as he kept his eyes turned skyward to the heavens. 'Always searching for your scent. I hope you hear me...I love you. Where are you now? Answer me...my princess...'  
  
What they say doesn't matter,   
Just as long as I'm in your arms,  
When I'm with you, I feel my cold heart grow warm,   
And if I could, I'd be with you.  
But my heart, it won't let me through.  
I'm holdin' on, yeah baby, holdin' on.  
Someday, I'll be able to tell you,  
About my feelings, about this love, baby.  
About this love coursing through my veins  
  
Taiki and Yaten thought Seiya to have lost his mind, loving Usagi like he did. But Seiya didn't care. He kept on shamelessly with his one sided love, hopeful that one day he would have the courage to share his feelings with her and that she would return his love. Until then, he would have to settle for the dreams. They were all he had right now.  
  
He shivered; just know seeming to notice the cool and gentle breeze that had been caressing him the entire time he had been outside just staring up at the beautiful full moon and the twinkling diamond-like stars that accompanied it. Before turning and heading back into his bedroom to go to bed, Seiya mumbled just one phrase that only the heavens were able to witness.  
  
"Ashiteru Usagi..."  
  
But right now, I've got to wait  
Maybe just one more day.  
Baby, you know I do,  
Hell if it's forbidden,   
I love you, no matter what they say,  
hell if it's forbidden,  
I love you.  
Baby, I do love you.  
  
The End.  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Tell me what you thought! I absolutely loooove feedback!  
  
  



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